mathemagic kam aur mathepacchi jaada

Meri dastan bahut hi karun hai 🙂 mathemagic kam aur mathepacchi jaada hui hai::)

Please note that all the rubbish that is written underneath is a satire and am not at all serious in any part of the paragraph here. Also take it with a bucketful of salt.

Somehow i scraped through my 10th board exams vowing never to touch MATHEMATICS ever. 11th and 12th standard presented me with PHYSICS (which is applied mathematics). Both the years, I managed only passing marks (though had distinctions ((above 80%) in all other subjects).
I decided i will not touch any quantitative career fields bhale hi bhukhon aur berozgar hi kyon na rehna pade. BSC pharmaceuticals brought PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY which i could never understand and had to cram up everything only to forget them the next day.
Quitting BSc,I joined BMS and immediately confronted with BUSINESS MATHEMATICS. unnecessarily feeling relieved at passing first year, i had to surmount STATISTICS AND ECONOMETRICS in second year. All such subjects took 60 % of my study time with 20 % output belying pareto’s optimality.
So i decided to move onto rural management and immediately realised that i have landed up from the ditch into the well. QUANTITATIVE TECHINIQUES, FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT, MANAGEMENT ACCOUNTING, MARKET RESEARCH AND IT INFRASTRUCTURE MANAGEMENT. Somehow could not be complete without number crunching.
so i decided to join NGO instead of banks to avoid any number crunching.
Lo and behold, i am presented with CIVIL ENGINEERING DESIGNS, FOREST MENSURATIONS while working.
So i run away to some decent farmer’s organisation and get stuck with farmer incentives and bank accounts and subsidies and what not.
I think corporates are better manned with professionals so land up with some crooks from IIMA and Malaysia who do a lot of contract farming and STATISTICAL EXTRAPOLATIONS of production figures for their malaysia based plant and end up producing nothin from those contract lands.

I return back and am immediately ploughed into BUDGET CALCULATIONS and COST-BENFIT ANALYSIS ratios for projects. PERTS AND CPMs are all proving useless here as tribals are illiterate and more fond of drinking mahua then crunching COLLECTION STATISTICS OR COSTING. 🙂
To add insult to injury now am supposed to do TREND ANALYSIS AND CROSS GEOGRAPHICAL ANALYSIS OF common property resources (read pastures and forest lands) and NET SOWN AREAS to come up with recommendations to a fellow who is more closer to a buffalow in his behaviour (read raghuvansh prasad singh – a fotocopy of lalu yadav)
Surprisingly he is a PHD in mathematics himself (Source of information – Dada ji) – (no offence meant for anybody)

Hope u enjoyed the satire and realise how much i love mathematics